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Discussing Topics relevant to Teen Girls

Blessed girl blog #8 Resource

4/27/2021

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Today is a Resource Blog – a review of two 30-day devotional books, written by Jen Barrick and her mother Linda Barrick. At the age of 15, Jen and her family were in a terrible car accident, hit by a drunk driver in 2006 in Lynchburg, VA.  Jen was in a coma for 5 weeks; the doctors did not give her much chance of living or being able to function well if she did. God has given her many miracles and although she has been through many surgeries and countless physical therapy sessions, she is a vibrant and active young lady. Early in her recovery she quoted scripture and has been able to sing praise songs, even when her brain injuries prohibited her from having regular conversations.  I remember praying for this family even though I did not know who they were. Jen’s life is truly a miracle from God and she treasures each day.
Jen and Linda were our main speakers for Blessed Girl Teen Conference in 2019. They both bring such joy and encouragement as they share their story and current blessings.  The devotional books they have written include stories, prayers and places to write about what you feel and answer questions to process the scriptures you have read for the day.
“Priceless” is a 203 page paperback devotional published in 2018 by Moody Press. The reader is encouraged to be honest with God and tell Him how you feel. In Day 5 you are asked to tell God why you are angry and given steps on what to do if you feel angry.  Each day has a scripture from the book of Psalms, such as Psalm 37 “The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand.”  Inspiring words are given such as on Day 22: “Like salvation laughter is a free gift from God. It’s God’s best natural medicine.  We have the choice every day to focus on the positive or negative. I like to think of Jesus laughing, not at me but with me. He is my best friend.”
In their second devotional book, published in 2020, “Beyond Priceless”, Jen shares: “My life will never be the same.  I have lots of hidden disabilities and every day is hard. But I’m not sad. I’m overflowing with peace and joy because I learned a secret; in the midst of my greatest trials, Jesus is enough!” This devotional is written recognizing that young women experience many feelings and it is important to acknowledge them . “The ups and downs of our feelings teach us to understand and experience new attributes of God and to learn to rely on Christ, our solid ground.”  There are places to write about how you feel about yourself, how you think God sees you, and you are prompted to write a prayer to God.
Jen writes, at the end of the book, “I pray you will allow God to capture your whole heart. Choose to go on an adventure with Him every single day.” This young lady will inspire you and challenge you to do just that, talk to Jesus every day and invite Him into your life; not just once but each day. You can find out more about their story and resources at hopeoutloud.com.
Blessings,
Jeri
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Blessed girl blog #7

4/17/2021

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Blessed GIrl Blog #7 Spring

SPRING—I have always thought of the Spring season as a time of freshness, a renewal; a time to look forward and to have hope for what is ahead.  Everywhere around there are trees budding and flowers blooming. Neighbors are outside working in the yard or taking walks and it is a good time to rene those  friendships.  Our Christian life needs a time of renewal also, to let go of the past and to “Press on towards the goal to win the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus” as Paul tells us in Philippians 3:14.  Paul also tells us “we are hard-pressed on every side, struck down but not destroyed” (II Corinthian 4:8), but we know that God does send the refreshing rain and from that comes new growth. This is the “preparing soil and planting season” for those in our area. We  have most likely had our last frost, and it is safe to plant seeds in our gardens and fields. It is amazing how God has created the seasons and each season brings its own blessings.  As Ecclesiastes 3 tells us: "there is a time to reap and a time to sow, a time to plant and a time to gather”. Take time to take notice of the things you need to move on from, clearing out the dead plants, leaves and twigs in your own “Soil”, then as you need nourishment—seek refreshing water (Holy Spirit), and food (the Word of God). We also need the sun (Son of God) and fellowship (Other Christians); these will bring new growth in you and sustain you. Encourage others during this time as we look forward to being replenished from our Creator and Redeemer.
 Blessings, 
Jeri
"To plant a Garden is to believe in tomorrow”   Audrey Hepburn
 







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Blessed GIRL - bLESSINGS/BEATITUDES

4/7/2021

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—”Blessed” meanings.. Synonyms are: exalted, rewarded, saved, holy, divine, favored, graced, fortunate, happy.  82 verses in the Bible contain the actual word “blessed”, however there are many more instances of God blessing people and nations. The internet can give us 1000 quotes on being blessed or blessed quotes. We can say we have a blessing, we are blessed, or tell others to “Be Blessed “or “Have a Blessed Day”. It is a positive word and when spoken to others, it is to wish them a good day or event. Including the term “Blessed” in the Girls’ conference title came from wanting each of us to realize how deep God’s love is for us and how blessed we are. It is in this knowing that we can rest and have confidence.
The first Blessed Girl Teen Conference was in February, 2014. It came about after I was trying to find a conference to take teen girls to, as I had done many years ago. The problem was that the only one I located was in Nashville, which was much too far to attend. I felt the Lord impressing upon me to start one and after much prayer and consideration, I began formalizing a plan. I knew many wonderful ladies in the Roanoke Valley who could lead the seminars, and asked my daughter in Lynchburg to recommend a lady to be the main speaker. She gave me the contact information for Rachel Travis, a former Mrs. Virginia winner and a former student at Word of Life Bible College. She did an amazing job speaking and even did a sweet duet with her mother. Although I had not planned further than this first conference, the attendees and youth leaders said we must do another; and so, we did and our 8th Annual Conference was February 2021. We did not want to cancel, even with the Pandemic, so we limited our attendance and also provided a virtual option. Evaluations and comments were positive and plans are to continue a virtual option in order to reach those who are unable to attend due to illness or location.
 
The first Conference also was centered around the Beatitudes. Found in Matthew 5:1-12, this is one of the most well known passages and includes 8 Blessings.  This is part of the sermon that Jesus gave in the Sermon on the Mount, where Jesus makes it clear that broken people are accepted and that brokenness is normal. The poor in Spirit, those that mourn, the meek, the peacemakers and those who are persecuted, who hunger and thirst for righteousness, are those that Jesus came for.  Because He blesses us we will be comforted, filled, show mercy, see God, and have the kingdom of heaven. Basically He is saying it is worth it, the hard times will seem small when placed next to the gifts and promises of God.
Like a parent who loves their children and wants the best for them, so too is our Lord who hurts when we hurt, yet sees the bigger picture and provides the strength we need. God who walks with us in the storm, who wipes the tears from our eyes, who works things together for our good, who gives us a promise a day in His word. God who tells us we need fellowship, we need to bear one another’s burdens, and we can cry out to Him anytime, and that He will never leave us or forsake us. This God is the one we can depend on and the one we can rely on, the one true God, the I AM. The more that we delve into who God is, the more we can be assured that His desire is to bless us.
An old song, “Count your many blessings, name them one by one, and it will surprise you what the Lord has done.” Whenever I take time to count my blessings, my attitude and perspective is lifted and my load seems lighter. Let’s do that today, and more often; giving our cares and worries to God, allowing our days to be brighter and not just be blessed, but know we are blessed.
Blessings to you, Jeri  #blesssedgirlteenconference

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Blog #4 Resources

3/27/2021

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Resource: There are many resources available and sometimes it may feel like an overwhelming amount. My goal is to provide reviews on a regular basis of some of these resources. My blogs will occur on the 7th, 17th and 27th of each month, with a resource blog on the 27th.
   For today, I will highlight books from Elizabeth George, an American author and Christian speaker from Seattle, Washington. She has written over 80 books and many of these targeted for young ladies. Some of those I have used for Girls Groups are “A Young Woman after God’s Own Heart”, “A Girl after God’s Own Heart”, “A Girl’s Guide to Discovering Her Bible”, A Girls’ Guide to Making Really Good Choices”, and I have just ordered “A Girl’s Guide to Prayer”.
   In the book, “A Girl’s Guide to Making Really Good Choices,” Elizabeth George gives advice on developing confidence, desiring God’s will and improving relationships. The book is 208 pages and gives room to write responses while working through the book.  One of the things I like best about these books is being able to make practical applications from the information and challenges given.
   “A Girl’s Guide to Discovering Her Bible” can be used for girls age 10-16, as you encourage young ladies to put their hope and trust in the truths of the Bible. Facts are included about where the Bible came from and the importance of learning and following these truths. This book kept my Middle and High School group of inner city girls interested and focused as we were able to talk through the inviting pages.
   These books by Elizabeth George can be ordered in many places, one of my favorite is through Christian Book Distributors (Christianbook.com) where you can find these books for as low as $5.99. Her husband, Jim George, has written several complimentary books for guys, such as “A Young Man’s Guide to Making Right Choices”, and “A Young Man After God’s Own Heart”.
    Having good resources is very important in teaching and learning in a focused and interesting way. I am very appreciative of Elizabeth George who is able to provide books which are written in a clear and positive manner. We are blessed to have these available for use in small groups or in the home with your children.  II Timothy 2:15 "Study to show yourself approved unto God, a workman that needs not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.” #blessedgirlteenconference
    Blessings to you,
    Jeri
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Blog #3  Part 2 of Teens mental health

3/17/2021

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     As I was writing last week about Mental Health in Teens I realized that there was a lot to mention. In part 1, I listed many hotlines available as well as warning signs. Those are valuable resources to have and to review on a regular basis. On a different level is looking at the current Mental Health in the teens you are personally involved with, and how Youth workers and parents can give them support, especially spiritually. (Please check out the two Bible apps listed at end of blog.)
    Parents, as their primary supporters, have more opportunities to interact with their adolescents and of course more influence and love to give. Parenting is of course a complex responsibility and includes many emotions and avenues. Scripture tells us to “Train up a child in the way they should go and when they are old they will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6 We also see in Ephesians 6 that Parents are not to “exasperate” their children. These two verses specifically give instruction to parents. Many other verses tell us how to interact in a godly way with others, which does include our children; expressing love, patience, forgiveness, kindness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22). Youth Leaders, or anyone who is in a modeling role for young people, are to take that role seriously and recognize the importance of letting Christ’s love shine through to others. Keep in mind that the family is the primary support group, yet you are the Shepherd for your flock of students. As a Shepherd looks after the needs of the sheep, you have taken on the responsibility of praying, teaching, sharing and demonstrating God’s love to those you meet with. Youth leaders are to assist Parents also (another blog….) 
      From the National Center for Poverty:  “Existing mental health problems become increasingly complex and intense as children transition into adolescence. Untreated mental health problems among adolescents often result in negative outcomes. Mental health problems may lead to poor school performance, school dropout, strained family relationships, involvement with the child welfare or juvenile justice systems, substance abuse, and engaging in risky sexual behaviors.”
     In a group setting, you have an opportunity to see the students’ interactions with others their age, and can recognize some of the behaviors outside of the norm. With this perspective, if you  identify any behaviors or statements as being troubling, follow-up is part of your responsibility. This can include talking one-on-one with the teen to confirm struggles and to give them emotional support. Resources can be suggested and when necessary, speaking with their parents or providing additional resources.
      Here are two scriptures which will help Teens in their emotional and spiritual health; of course there are many throughout the Bible that you can use and share. Matthew 11:28 “Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at  heart and you will find rest for your souls.”   Philippians 4:6-7 “Don’t worry about anything, instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”
       As Christians we have access to the power and peace of Jesus. Reading His word and praying in His name gives us a different perspective, a holy perspective which allows us to be calm in the middle of the storm. This same peace is available to our teens; we can show them the way and remind them to slow down, focus on the positive elements around them and in Jesus. You can even give them a challenge; read a passage a day or a Psalm a day, or listen to the Bible audibly on their phone. Two widely used scripture phone apps available are YouVersion and BibleGateway. YouVersion has many topical studies that you can suggest to teens, or you can even do one at the same and follow up with a discussion or text. Let them know you are praying for them and pray with them as you are able. Teens want to know they have a safe place to share their feelings and still be accepted. They may be slow to respond openly, but over time, as their trust in you develops, they will feel safer and permit you to ask harder and deeper questions. Pray for opportunities and wait for the door to open, be willing to wait on God’s timing.
Blessings, 
  Jeri

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Mental health in teens blog#2

3/7/2021

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Even youths grow tired and weary…  Isaiah 40:30-31 tells us that “Youth may faint and grow weary, and young men stumble and fall, but those who trust in the Lord will renew their strength; they will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not faint.” Mental Health is not a new problem, nor is it something to be ashamed of. We do need to take steps to recognize it and be ready to support others, and especially our youth, who are going through a time of despair.
Many reports have come out this past year about Teens and their Mental Health. Unfortunately this is not a new problem, however there has been a significant rise in the number of instances. “Suicide rates have doubled, calls to Help Hotlines have dramatically increased. Teens, forced into isolation, have taken a step back in being in a social environment. For some this is a welcome state in their mind, however it has magnified their social detriment…we are at a disadvantage when we try to communicate over a text or email, even a phone call.” We are missing large parts of communication such as tone of voice, eye contact, body language and touch. Miscommunication happens more frequently and it is difficult to resolve conflict in a healthy manner.
One important thing to realize is that talking works!  It is true yet it is hard to explain; we were made for relationships and fellowship. God loves us and tells us to share our burdens with each other. He knows we need relationships with others and He gives us the Holy Spirit to comfort us. We are also told that Jesus is our Friend and He intercedes for us. Romans 8:34 states:  “Christ Jesus is the One who died, but even more, has been raised; He also is at the right hand of God and intercedes for us.” Paul, the writer of Romans, goes on to say “Who can separate us from the love of Christ? Can affliction or anguish or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?.. No, in all these things we are more than victorious through Him who loved us.”
How can we as leaders, or parents, identify and increase effective communication and positive mental health in Teens? Recognizing warning signs, such as those given to us by the National Institute of Health (NIH), is beneficial. Some warning signs may help you determine if a loved one is at risk for suicide, especially if the behavior is new, has increased, or seems related to a painful event, loss, or change. If you or someone you know exhibits any of these, seek help by calling the Lifeline. (suicidepreventionlifeline.org) 800-273-8255
·         Talking about wanting to die or to kill themselves;
·         Looking for a way to kill themselves, like searching online or buying a gun
·         Talking about feeling hopeless or having no reason to live
·         Talking about feeling trapped or in unbearable pain
·         Talking about being a burden to others
·         Increasing the use of alcohol or drugs
·         Acting anxious or agitated; behaving recklessly
·         Sleeping too little or too much
·         Withdrawing or isolating themselves
·         Showing rage or talking about seeking revenge
·         Extreme mood swings
Listed below are Hotline numbers to have on hand for situations that may arise. It is important to refer if warning signs are indicated and to take seriously threats of suicide or other methods of self-harm.
¨ National Runaway Safeline 800-786-2929
¨ Rape & Sexual Assault  800-656-4673
¨ National Sex Traffiking Hotline 888-3737-888
¨ Child Abuse Hotline 800-422-4453
¨ Mental Health Support 800-985-5990 or TEXT  TalkWithUs to 66746
¨ Crisis Text Line 741-741 TEXT Listen                       
 Suicide Prevention Hotline 800-273-8255 or 911 911911
In 2018, there were 48,344 recorded suicides, up from 42,773 in 2014, according to the CDC's National Center for Health Statistics (NCHS). On average, adjusted for age, the annual U.S. suicide rate increased 24% between 1999 and 2014, from 10.5 to 13.0 suicides per 100,000 people, the highest rate recorded in 28 years.
Suicide is the second leading cause of death for young people between 10 to 24. Sometimes your struggle can be underestimated because of your age. But we hear you, and help is available. Any time that a kid makes a statement to the effect of, 'I don't think that people care if I die,' or 'I think people would be better off if I weren't around,' you've got to take it seriously," said Singer, an associate professor in the School of Social Work at Loyola University Chicago. He also said, if a young person withdraws from usual activities or is bullied on social media, it shouldn't be ignored. Singer added that what this new report doesn't reflect is a very large increase in suicidal thoughts among youth this year, largely due to the coronavirus pandemic and a souring economy. "But it is also important to know that there's not a direct relationship between an increase in suicidal thoughts and a corresponding increase in suicide deaths," he said.
The important part is relationship. Take the time to have a relationship with your teen in your home, in your church in your extended family or in your neighborhood. Each one struggles to know they are loved and accepted. Remind them of God’s deep love and show them they are accepted by listening to them without condemning them. Be aware of concerning areas and proceed gently when needed to guide them towards help from a trusted adult, beginning with their parent or Caregiver. When appropriate show them truths from God’s word and when appropriate give them the available hotline numbers. Pray for wisdom and discernment; shine the light of Jesus. 
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BEGINNINGS

2/26/2021

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Beginnings! Welcome to the first blog post for Blessed Girl. Last weekend was the 8th Annual Blessed Girl Teen Conference. It is so heartwarming to see Teen Girls worshipping and fellowshipping and yes, smiling and laughing! Many moments during Middle School and High School are dark and depressing; even if you see a different image, many students are hiding how they feel and their internal struggle to function "normally" during the day. Some have horrendous stories as they have experienced various forms of abuse, neglect, transient lives and unstable childhoods. Even those students who have families who appear to have a stable household with few challenges also experience trust and identity issues.
     
I'm Jeri, the founder of Blessed Girl. During the 1990's I was able to take teen girls to a girls conference near our city. This was an awesome experience and included great challenges and inspiring worship.  When I began looking again about 10 years ago, there were no conferences available without driving for many hours. I was praying and searching when I felt the Lord laying on my heart to gather girls and ladies who could teach them. This was the beginning of the Blessed Girl Teen Conference. The goal remains for young ladies to hear challenging and encouraging messages from godly women and to enjoy worshipping together with a group of their peers.

My own story includes a poor beginning, rich childhood, and then poor again after my father left our family when I was 13. During my teen years, I rarely saw or had contact with him, leaving my mother to raise 3 kids on her own. As a normal teen girl, without a father, I sought the attention of male friends and rarely felt accepted. Thankfully, with God's help, I did follow through with going off to college, getting a Social Work degree and afterwards meeting and marrying a stable young man, whose goal was to live a life of integrity. We had both made commitments to Jesus earlier in our lives and, although we strayed from God's path, made our way back to God and to working in ministry.

My husband began college after we were married, received his Bachelors in Church Ministries with a Youth Ministry emphasis, and began working as a part-time Youth Director in 1985. After finishing his Masters in Religious Education, his first full time ministry position was in Ohio, then moved to his next position as Youth Minister in Ashland, KY. In 2000 we returned to the Roanoke Valley where he was a youth minister in Salem, then a Pastor for 3 years in Roanoke, before returning to Youth Ministry, which is still continuing today. My "position" for 36 years has been as a Youth Minister's wife; much has been learned and experienced during these years.

I received my Masters in Counseling at Liberty University before we moved to Ohio, and have held various levels of counseling positions in Kentucky and Virginia. For the past 9 years I have been working with Straight Street, a ministry to teenagers in downtown Roanoke. Spending a large amount of time with teenagers, both at church and in the inner city, has increased my burden to see them grasp God's truths. I believe if students, and adults alike, can accept the deep love of God for us and His infinite grace and mercy, we could spend less time and energy on searching for meaning and acceptance.
       
Forthcoming blogs will be focusing on teen girls, ages 11-18, and the many facets of their lives during this time. Reflecting on those years in my own life, and how easily it is to succumb to the culture around us rather than resting in the arms of a loving God, it is imperative that we are intentional about increasing support for these young ladies. We will be looking at examples and resources from the Bible, as well as Christian writers, musicians, communicators and organizations. This will provide a framework for assisting young ladies, and those who work with them.
          
Blessings to each of you! I look forward to walking this journey with you.
Jeri

"Blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence."
 Jeremiah 17:7​
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    Jeri - Youth Pastor's wife and youth leader for over 30 years and currently working in ministry with inner city youth.


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